you have a bad habit (don’t worry, everyone does it)
It’s a bad habit, but everyone does it. Even me! No one is perfect, and I bet every person on earth does this sometimes.
Some people do it less than others, and as a result they are happier and more successful than everyone else!
Oprah credits her success to not doing it.
So what’s this bad habit?
Complaining.
Did you know that complaining is severely damaging to your health, financial success and your entire life?
Few people realize just how damaging it actually is.
Studies have shown people who complain frequently tend to have poor health, less satisfying and enduring relationships, and don’t tend to do as well in their jobs or make as much money.
By complaining, the focus is always on what’s wrong, on what’s going badly. But the key to getting what you want in life is focusing your energy and attention on what you DO want, rather than what you don’t want.
If complaining is so bad, why do so many people do it?
Well that’s simple – because it’s a habit.
Most people have been doing it their entire lives.
In fact, many people don’t even realize how often they complain.
Don’t believe me? For the next 24 hours, pay attention to how many times you hear someone begin a conversation with you by whining about something that didn’t go the way they wanted it to!
That’s not the only reason complaining is so common, and such a difficult habit to break.
People also complain because:
- It’s a good conversation starter.
It’s really easy to begin a conversation and quickly connect with someone by complaining.
(Can you believe it’s going to rain AGAIN today?).
If this is the situation where you find yourself complaining, then what you can do to get over this particular hurdle is, instead of using a complaint to start talking to someone – complement them. It’s a much more positive way to start a conversation.
- Complaining keeps people from having to take action.
This is the #1 reason most people complain, because then they can procrastinate and have plenty of excuses why they aren’t reaching their goals. There will always be plenty of excuses for not doing something that needs to be done. Too much traffic, broke your leg, the computer isn’t working, etc. It’s much too easy to complain about it instead of finding a solution.
Not only that, but for some crazy reason, we’ve been taught it’s okay to talk negatively about yourself, but it’s not okay to “brag” about what you’re doing well!
- It pre-excuses failure
Another very common reason people complain is to pre excuse failure. For instance, showing up late for a meeting and complaining about how bad the traffic was, or how there was a huge line at the dry cleaner, etc.
It takes all the responsibility off of that person, they no longer have to own up to the fact that they should have left earlier or been more prepared.
How do you stop complaining?
It’s tough to stop this habit, particularly if you’ve spent most of your life doing it. The first step to stop this behavior is to become aware of your complaints, and then replacing the complaint about what you don’t like, with a solution for getting what you do want.
This doesn’t mean you act like everything is great and you aren’t bothered by anything. Instead, you stop dwelling on things that are upsetting you, and find ways to improve the situation.
If there is absolutely nothing you can do to improve the situation you’re unhappy about (such as, if you’re upset that it’s raining), then you change the way you think about it. Sulking about things you can’t change is just a waste of time and energy.
Don’t play the victim by simply announcing that things aren’t going your way. Figure out what you DO want to happen, and seek ways to turn that into reality.
What can you do about the negative situation? Stop focusing on problems, seek solutions instead.
